Evang-halon (Scenes from Hell) (Note: This cliche will truly make sense if you've watched Neon Genesis Evangelion. Also, today, August 29, is the day John the Baptist was beheaded)
Poor little John fights against a monstrous beastly Covenant Sharaquoi on August 29, 2530. He mutters to himself... "I mustn't lose my head, I mustn't lose my head, I mustn't lose my head, I mustn't lose my head, I mustn't lose my head, I mustn't lose my head..."
And then a fiery, red-haired young Spartan comes along and yells, "What are you, an idiot? Go ahead and fight already!"
As an extra, an attractive older commanding officer promises John an "adult kiss" if he fights the Covenant beastie.
John then turns into a forty-meter horned purple mecha and mauls the Covenant beastie before eating it alive.
He wakes up and says, "Wow, what a dream!"
Because the best city to use in fiction is your own! (You're freaking me out) The Covenant invasion is inexplicably moved to downtown Tokyo instead of New Mombasa, and Godzilla either has to fight them or take the day off.
Birds (Scenes) The scene opens with a long slow shot of a futuristic city. Everything is peaceful and beautiful. The scene transitions to a group of birds (probably doves) quietly cooing and eating and doing other things that birds do when suddenly BANG, a loud noise heard across the city frightens the birds and they all fly off leaving feathers behind. The scene shifts to focusing on a lone feather that slowly and gracefully floats down to the source of the noise; a group of Spartans fighting Covenant. A Brute's foot comes into frame and violently stomps on the feather, ending it's whimsical journey.
By the end of this story, we will get no less than 3 more shots of birds flying for no particular reason.
Throw More Grunts At Him! (Scenes) (Battle Order)
Master Chief is cutting through hordes of enemy soldiers, mostly Grunts. An Elite Commander keeps sending in Grunts who keep getting their asses kicked. Slowly he sends in the higher ranking Grunts, who also get killed. Eventually he sends in his lowest ranking Elites, and eventually all that's left is the Commander. He runs in with a bloodcurdling yell, only to get his ass kicked as well.
The chief remembers... (Weepy melodrama) (anime)While chief walks down a hallway he remembers some time when he was a kid, or there is a girl who he liked and it gets all sad. He remembers how he had to fight his friends and his lover died by the hands of the covenant, and he starts asking himself is it all worth fighting for.
Cortana Compliments Chief/Johnson (ANIME-Reference other films/series) Cortana: You look nice
Chief + Johnson in unison: Thanks
Chief's visor de-polarizes to reveal red cheeks.
Googly Eyes (ANIME-Reference other films/series) Master Chief is punched in the crotch, causing his massive anime style eyes to shatter his helmet,showing his japanese face (screw Japan if that happens)
I don't advocate screwing Japan. They've been through enough.
Directed by J. J. Abrams (Plot) In the beginning: After a particularity gruesome opening battle scene, the Chief is left hurt, limping away with his armor dented, hand on his side, and his visor cracked. He coughs and some blood spills out of his helmet into a small pool on the ground.
Later, an Elite finds the tiny pool of blood and says, "The humans created a demon; now we shall fight fire with fire!" The Covies then use the DNA in the blood to create an evil clone of Master Chief wearing Covenant/Spartan armor who is faster, stronger, and smarter. But in the end, Master Chief prevails, killing his clone as his clone whispers,
"All I wanted was to be like you... But I guess my time is over now..."
Master Chief replies, "Don't worry. We Spartans don't die. We just go to hell and regroup."
"We then, I guess one day I'll see you in hell Master Chief..."
"I'm looking forward to it... my brother..."
Master Chief clone dies, movie ends.
~ Fin
This is so scary, I'm going to curl up on the floor and ride the shakes away..
