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Extreme Coincidence
(Split-second groans) An extreme coincidence involving a dilemma, then the solution to this dilemma magically appears.


Cortana: Master Chief, the Covenant have activated the Mega Ion Cannon, they are going to destroy our ship and everyone on it unless we fix our warp drive and get out of here!

MC: But that would require a reverse-phase induced plasmatic re-uptake energy coupler. There is only one left in the entire fleet and it's on another ship, far away from here.

Cortana: Chief! Johnson just warped in on another ship and ... you won't believe it.. he has the only remaining reverse-phase induced plasmatic re-uptake energy coupler! We're saved!

MC: Hooray!

Arbiter: Yippee!

Carrier Flood: Blargaghahhhhghg...!

(d3vilsnight on 10-25-07 00:09 UTC, permalink)

Don't die on me!
(Scenes) Movie must contain at least one drawn-out dramatic scene where one main character takes a plasma blast and is dying and the following line is uttered:

"Don't you die on me!"

(d3vilsnight on 10-25-07 00:03 UTC, permalink)

All A Dream
(Corny twists) Master Chief wakes up at the end and the entire saga with the covenant and the flood was just a dream.

(d3vilsnight on 10-25-07 00:02 UTC, permalink)

Some sort of... flashback, you say?
(Split-second groans) Throughout the movie there are brief flashbacks to the spartan training, and you see how he was desensitized as a kid and taught lessons from Keyes. No, wait! Actually, there's a scene from later in his life where MC is talking to the commander and Keyes asks him about if he remembers the faces of who he's killed. Chief replies tersely "no." Keyes snorts, then says: "you do."

(Killer_tomatoes!!! on 10-25-07 00:02 UTC, permalink)

Flood grenade
(Confrontation) Chief sticks a plasma grenade into the body of a dead Elite and shoves it into a room full of covenant to get weapons.

(Killer_tomatoes!!! on 10-25-07 00:00 UTC, permalink)

Enable Uber-Secret Protocols....NOW!
(Scenes) As I re-read Ghosts of Onyx I noticed all the military hyperbole, and thought it would be funny if they translated some of that stuff into a movie.

Movie starts...

A military general covered with war medals and commendations enters a thick locked door. Two men accompany him, his right and left-hand men so to speak.

They approach a large titanium wall, and the A.I. (which naturally is a dead look alike of HAL 9000) asks for "voice identification". Next he has to put his whole head in this face scanner. Once the A.I. checks that out, a ginormous door slides open, and for almost a minute you hear locks, slides, and various mechanisms opening. Next the men get into an elevator that descends for about 10 minutes into the ground.

Once they reach the "secure" location, the men are X-rayed, gamma rayed, DNA sampled, and THEN stripped of weapons. FINALLY, they get to a massive computer room which looks like NASA mission control. The men each take out a "big" key and lift up plastic covers on the desk, then they count 1...2...3 and turn the keys into the slots simultaneously. Then the general sits down and enters in super-secret codenames for minutes like CHIMERA BRAVO, ELOQUENT CAVIAR, UNDYING HORNET; that all sound like bad puns. Meanwhile everyone else in the room is staring intently and sweating A LOT for unknown reasons.

FINALLY (for real this time), the computer allows them into a secret network and lets them find the file they're looking for... until the screen flashes a warning that they're going to need "LEVEL 12- OMEGA BLACK-OPS SECTION THETA VIOLET CONDITION CLEARANCE", and no can figure out who actually has this sort of clearance...

(jman571 on 10-24-07 23:57 UTC, permalink)

Midget Trouble
(Scenes from Hell) The door between Master Chief and The Covenant is being rammed by the Covenant. MC waits patiently on the other side, battle rifle aimed down sight, behind a crate or something. The other Marines are getting nervous, but seem calmer when they see Master Chief is helping them.

MC: Just.... Wait.

The door busts open, screams are heard from the Covenant as the marines open fire on the front line grunts. One Grunt charges MC with a few of his squad friends.

Grunt: DIE DEMON! (in high screechy voice)

MC gives the Midget a good kick just like a football and watches the grunt fly and land straight on an elite's energy sword. The Elite looks pissed as he wipes off the midget carnage. He then charges.

(Andy on 10-24-07 23:55 UTC, permalink)

Multiple Loves, Multiple Lives
(You're freaking me out) Scene opens.

Stars shine, the moon glistens with its clay colored surface. Camera rotates to show Earth, its surface covered with fire and burnt patches everywhere. A covenant ship slides into the frame, a Phantom. "Still no readings on his location. Though from my calculations, the Forerunner ship landed somewhere in the desert of New Mombasa," a female voice says offscreen. Camera view changes. The inside of the Phantom, the Arbiter sitting near a pedestal with Cortana's figure floating above it. "How it seemed to land without crashing into pieces, unknown. Though I still want to know how it got to Earth without navigation and how it used Slipspace," she added. The Arbiter looked to his right. Sergeant Johnson was reloading his Battle Rifle when he mentioned," but we already know that the Covenant have figured out how to travel through Slipspace."

"I know that smart ass," Cortana retorted."But a ship of that sufficient size and mass should've shattered to pieces. I can't even imagine how it even made it through still inta-"

She was cut off as the Phantom shook.

"The ship just landed," Cortana stated astonished. Guilty Spark floated into the room, humming to himself.

"Lalalala...I just helped you by giving you a hand in landing the Phantom. I am a genius," he said.

"You little snooping, quirky floating piece of trash! I should just rip your 'genius' head apart!" Cortana shouted, infuriated. " I aughta kill your sensors and wipe out your memory banks right now!"

"Easy there killer," Sergeant said. " I want to shoot him just as bad as you do, but seriously, calm down before you drive yourself rampant."

Cortana stood there, thinking."Alright. I'll try not to tear out his circuits, if he promises not to drive me up the walls".

"I promise". Guilty Spark said.

"Ok, everyone happy? Good. Load up, pack your bags, and let's go look for the Chief," Sarge shouted. Scene fades to black. Then we see a desert landscape, Brute bodies littered everywhere. Wind blows, picking up dust and sand with it. As soon as the dust stops and clears, the Chief steps out of nowhere, a Battle Rifle slung over his shoulder. Sand and dried blood cover the boots of his MJOLNIR armor. He stares at what seems to be some Covenant structure sticking out of the ground. He stops in his tracks. He scanned the sight, shook his head slowly, held up his head in determination, and began to walk towards the structure. Screen turns white, then fades to show the sergeant, Commander Miranda Keyes, and the Arbiter walking through the desert, all looking weary and dehydrated.

"How much longer do we need to walk in this hot, neverending hell?" sergeant panted. Arbiter looks at the sergeant, then turns his head forward and sniffs deeply. His eyes widened.

"Do you smell that?" he asked the others.

"Man, all I smell is dirt and sand," sergeant moaned. They come up to a cliff. They stop at the edge, staring out in astonishment.

"Wow," Miranda Keyes said in surprise. Brute and Jackal corpses were spread everywhere, dried blood splotches covering them.

They begin to walk through the mass when ten Brutes jump out at them, wounded but still armed.

"Maybe we should go back," Miranda mentioned, nervous. They all turned to see three more Brutes behind them.

"Screw it," sergeant shouted. He turned back to the ten brutes and fired his Rifle. We see a large room, similar to the large room with the key on the first Halo, except this one had no key, and there was no elevator. Just a hallway at the right end, and lights shining everywhere, yet the room was still dimly lit. Chief walks through it, looking around the room curiously. He walks toward the hallway, light from the other side reflecting off his visor. Camera turns white then show the Chief walking out the other side of the hallway, in a dome shaped room. He readies his Rifle. Two Honor guards, and in between them, the Prophet of Truth were in front of him, their backs turned. In front of them was a huge yellow generator with a data pad next to it. They seem to be discussing something. He puts his gun down, and instead pulls out what looks to be a black metal disc. Chief taps in a code from the number pad, then presses the * button. Spikes flare out from the sides of the disk, and a beeping sound can be heard. The Covenant turn around in surprise.

"Die, you wretched bitch," he shouts in anguish and rage. He throws down the bomb. It sticks its spikes into the ground. A red light flashes in the middle of it. The Chief pulled his Battle Rifle out and ran into the hall. The Chief ran out with the Battle Rifle in both hands when a plasma bolt hits him in the back.

He falls to the ground with a grunt. He reaches for his dropped Battle Rifle. He grabs it, turns onto his back and shoots two bursts down the hallway. The first burst hits him between the eyes and he goes down. The second hit the last guard in the throat, and he goes down with a scream of pain ending in a gurgle.

The chief gets back up, and begins to run in slow motion. As he runs closer and closer towards the end of the room, we hear voices echo in his head.

"Why would you hesitate to do what you've already done"(343 GS)

"Chief, leave me!"(Cortana)

"Chief, don't be a fool..leave me"(Keyes)

"I know what you're thinking, and it's crazy"(Cortana)

"Just dust and echoes..."(Cortana)

"Do you have any idea what that bastard almost made you do?"!(Cortana)


"Master Chief, you mind telling me what you're doing on that ship?"

The Chief hears and says out loud once more, " Sir. Finishing this fight".

Then a huge explosion comes up behind and throws him into the air. The chief lets out a cry of pain and shock. The screen goes suddenly white, then black.

We see a grassy plain with trees dotted here and there. The sky was a soft light blue, an orange sun off to the left. A soft breeze blows, and there was dew on the ground. John, without his armor wore a white shirt and dark blue jeans that ended at his ankles. He had his brown hair clean and neat, with no shoes and no bruises, fractures, or other wounds from previous battles. He stood there, wondering where he was. Then he heard laughter from his left. He turned and saw two of the other Spartans that he trained with sitting under a tree, talking. He walked toward them, and noticed that one of them was Grace, killed from a Brute attack. She had her brownish blonde hair pinned into a ponytail, her blue eyes looking at him when he walked up. The other was also someone he had trained with. Sam, killed from an explosion, had his brownish black hair neatly combed and his brown eyes were calmly looking at John.

"Hey John! You made it just in time! We were just talking about you!" Sam exclaimed.

"What's going on? How are you guys here? Where am I?" John asked. A hand lands on his shoulder. He looks and sees a man with brown eyes and a bald head stand there. He had to be in his early thirties.

"You are in heaven, John. Welcome," the man said calmly. John was astonished. Heaven? He was... was...

"Sir? Am I... dead?" John asked. The man nodded.

"So, you must be God then. How did I end up here?" John questioned. The man smiled.

"You saved the world. You fought against all odds. You completed every mission. You always won. And in the end, you ended the battle and stopped Truth. But the war is not over. The Covenant are still out there. And they will want revenge. And you have to be there to stop them," he said. John was deeply confused.

"So now, I give you honor for your wonderful acts of determination and courage. You will always be remembered for that. But the universe still needs you. So now, I send you to those who seek help, who call for a hero."

"What are you talking about?" John asked frantically.

"Ok, let me put it in easier terms. You're going back to stop the rest of the Covenant."

"I'M WHAT!!!!!!"

"Quiet down, you're gonna make my ears pop if you keep that up! Jeez!"

"So, you're gonna make me go back down there, suffer more pain, shoot more Covenant bastards, then make me kill every living alien?"


"Sounds like fun."

"Good, because now I'm letting you live again. Don't commit suicide or try to jump off a building, cuz then I will just have to strangle you," he turned and walked away.

"By the way," he added "don't tell anyone about this. The consequences are beyond unimaginable."

Then, as if out of thin air, he vanished.

Suddenly, everything around him began to fade, and as fast as it all appeared, everything faded into blackness...

The Arbiter held his Carbine in both hands, looking for any survivors, as the sergeant had ordered. There had been an explosion inside the huge structure, but luckily all three of them were too far from it to get hit by any debris. Now they all were looking for any survivors, any at all, even though it had been 15 minutes. He began to turn and look somewhere else when he heard something move. He looked back, hoping at least somebody had survived. He saw nothing.

He started to walk away when he heard the noise again. He looked one more time and could't believe his eyes.

"You lived?" he asked shockingly. Then he bent over and stretched out his hand.

"Here, give me your hand," he said reassuringly. We can't see what he was reaching out towards, until a green armored hand with half the covering for the fingers missing quickly reached out and grabbed the Arbiter's hand.


"Finally you guys are back! The dumb floating AI wouldn't shutup!" Cortana said happily. She was forced to stay and wait for them in the Phantom until they returned with the Chief. The only part she hated about waiting was that she had to keep an eye on Guilty Spark while they were away. As soon as the Chief walked onboard, Cortana was stunned.

"Chief! Your armor has been ripped to shreds! And you lost half your blood! Your vital signs aren't that good either," she exclaimed.

"Well, at least we don't need to worry about Truth anymore," he mentioned.

"You killed him?" she asked, surprised. "Well, at least that's one thing off my mind."

But something else was tugging at her.

"Chief..," she said nervously, folding her hands behind her back and shifting her foot as if she were making lines in sand, "one more thing...I just want to let you know that I...I missed you."

He nodded, giving no reaction to what she said, then murmured something so quiet only she could hear, " I missed you too". Then he slipped away into the cargo bay, blushing behind his helmet.

Cortana folded her arms across her chest and smiled happily. Even she couldn't say anything to that.

The screen slowly fades to black, and a happy, cheerful melody plays. The credits roll, and everyone is happy....

(Cheif's Guardian Angel on 10-24-07 23:24 UTC, permalink)

Reveal at the end
(Scenes from Hell) The Chief is captured, and before his execution, in the typical mad villain style, the prophet of Regret proceeds to explain his master plan in great detail: How the great journey was just a dupe, the Ark is Earth etc. Then, Johnson busts through the holding cell at the last minute saving him, and with this knowledge is able to save humanity!

The Ark is Earth? :)
- free3bme
(Cody Miller on 10-24-07 21:17 UTC, permalink)

No Place Like Earth
(You're freaking me out)

(As Master Chief arrives back to Earth)

Chief: There?s no place like home

(Chief would be talking with his helmet moving up and down in an unnatural way like they would do in a poor machinima)

(Dark_Davis on 10-24-07 21:16 UTC, permalink)

Warthog rocket
(Split-second groans) The Chief will be driving a Warthog when he sees an approaching drop ship going to land at his position. He looks behind him and sees that the 'hog is carrying a crate of grenades. He puts the 'hog on cruise control, jumps onto the back and shoots the crate, which explode and propel him into the drop ship, which is subsequently destroyed in a huge explosion. He flies out the other end and lands in the still-moving Warthog. This will be accompanied by some loud hip-hop music.

(Elite on 10-24-07 21:15 UTC, permalink)

MC's true identity:
(Comic Relief) After a whole lot of time, filled with tons of combat, the Chief jumps into the middle of a group of Jackals. He takes one by the shield, and uses it to block the others fire. He then strangles the Jackal, but keeps the shield. He dives in and slaughters the remaining Jackals.

The Chief stands, and a hiss comes from his armor. The front pops off, and a grunt jumps out. He goes to the nearest dead Jackal and says, "Ha! Me never like Jackal. Back to work."

(Uglywimp on 10-24-07 21:15 UTC, permalink)

Soundtrack Suggestions
(Music) Get poppy nu-metal like maybe Hoobastank or Breaking Benjamin to add some riffs that make the movie less epic and sound more like a made-for-TV movie.

o wait.

(doctor 7 on 10-24-07 21:14 UTC, permalink)

In the end
(Corny twists) After a huge epic struggle for the Chief to acquire (something of importance) he is then immediately incapacitated and has it stolen/lost.

...or has to trade it for someone(thing), a hostage? That would be lame.

(Wolfenrage on 10-24-07 21:14 UTC, permalink)

(Hey, I'm in a movie!) In New Mombasa, we are shown a scene taking place before the Covenant invasion. A Red Elite and his squad have been sent to negotiate a human surrender.

Red Elite: Choose your words carefully, Demon, or they will be your last

Master Chief: Maybe it is you, Covenant, who must choose his words more carefully, as you threatened our people with slavery and death. So we will fight against you and not bow down to your Prophets.

Red Elite: This is madness!

Master Chief: This is madness? THIS IS EARTH!!!

MC kicks the Elite down a huge hole leading to the sewer system below. A fight ensues between the humans and the Covies.

Sorry for the poorly done and obvious reference to 300, but the MC's team are called SPARTANS...

(J23 on 10-24-07 21:13 UTC, permalink)

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