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Chief. Master Chief.
(You're freaking me out) The Master Chief has invaded the Ark and defeated all its defenders. He stares down the Prophet of Truth, who lies on the floor, slowly dying.

Prophet of Truth: Demon? who are you?

The Chief turns around and takes off his helmet. It?s? Sean Connery!

Master Chief: The name?s Chief. Master Chief.

The Bond theme song blares triumphantly as the Chief jumps through the conveniently placed window, just as the Ark explodes.

The Chief slams into the water far below, and the screen goes black

(toothie on 11-22-06 17:08 UTC, permalink)

Chief Maguire
(You're freaking me out) Cortana, who had gone rampant throughout the movie, is standing amid the rubble that is the Ark. Master Chief has destroyed it and rid the universe of the flood forever.

The chief spots Cortana standing there and stops short.

Cortana (tears running from her eye): Chief?

Chief: Cortana?

They look at each other, then rush towards a fierce embrace.

Chief: Cortana I? I love you! You? complete me!

Cortana (emotional): Shut up! Just? shut up! You had me at ?hello!?

The camera pans to Johnson, who whose cigar falls out of his mouth. A single tear falls down his face, which is wrinkled in a knowing smile. The camera zooms in on the tear, and the movie ends.

(toothie on 11-22-06 17:09 UTC, permalink)

he is the one...
(Scenes from Hell) How about a corny flashback or two?

The Chief is in a hallway, a group of Elites face him, guns drawn. He takes a step back as the screen goes white.

John is younger. He is sitting in a meeting with his fellow Spartan trainees. Mendez has just announced that they will be undergoing surgery to enhance their fighting abilities.

John: ?Sir, is this a danger to my men??

Mendez: ?No. This will make you stronger, faster, smarter. A veritable killing machine. It will make you so effective you will be more God than man.?

John: ?What are you trying to tell us? That we can dodge bullets??

Mendez: ?No Chief. I?m trying to tell you that when you?re ready, you won?t have to.?

The scene shifts back. Master Chief stops backing away and holds out his hand. The Elites laugh and level their plasma rifles, preparing to fire.

Plasma flares down the hallway. Smoke and fire rises throughout the hall, blocking the chief from view. The dust slowly clears, showing the Chief standing tall without a scratch. The walls all around him are pockmarked. Save a little ball of plasma the Chief watches fall from his hands to the ground, he is unharmed.

Elite Leader: ?Well? shit.?

Master Chief throws his hands outward, and a warthog falls through the ceiling, crushing the Elites. He flexes mightily, bending the walls next to him.

Cortana: ?CHIEF!?

The Master Chief, spurred to action by Cortana?s cry, rushes to the nearest tele? er? warthog, and drives off to find the longsword.

(toothie on 11-22-06 17:10 UTC, permalink)

Bumper cars anyone?
(Cheap Death) Three Elites driving Standard Reconnaissance Rapid Attack Vehicles (S.R.R.A.V. or Ghost) are racing towards a navigational point in Alpha Halo for the first time in daytime. Time is not on their side. The Ghosts are perpetually boosting through a narrow, linear, deep valley. The Nav Point is at the end of the valley, a couple of kilometers ahead. All three are driving line astern. The lead Elite is covered with gold-colored armor. The second, following close behind, has red armor. The last one, also close behind, is blue armored. As he reaches the end of the valley, the gold Elite spots a drop a few meters ahead. He brakes at the edge of a very sheer cliff. A dead end. The red Elite brakes as well, slightly bumping into Goldie. Unfortunately, the blue Elite, who possesses slower reflexes, rams into the red guy who slams into the gold guy who yells in guttural, frustrated, desperate agony as he plummets to his death in ten minutes.

(Snafufree on 11-27-06 23:31 UTC, permalink)

I thought about it.
(Comic Relief) Somewhere in Halo, the Master Chief intentionally awakens dozens upon dozens of sleeping Grunts.

After killing them Cortana asks the Spartan, "Did it ever occur to you to assasinate them in their sleep?"

"The thought crossed my mind, yes," he replied.

"I see," the AI mused. She added, "You really are barbaric."

"Why thank you Cortana," Master Chief said sarcastically.

"It wasn't a compliment," Cortana said, exasperated.

"That occurred to me," the Petty Officer drawled.

"ENEMY CONTACT! BEHIND YOU!" Cortana yelled.

The Spartan whirled around, automatically leveling his Assault Rifle.

No one's there.

Not even a cloaked Elite.

"Haha! Fooled ya," Cortana teased.

Master Chief slooowly prepares to remove the AI data chip from the back of his Mark V helmet.

"Don't even think about it." Cortana warned.

(Snafufree on 03-13-07 02:34 UTC, permalink)

Time-traveling ideas
(Change for the sake of change) The Script Writer said, "So the Master Chief takes the Index--"

The Director cuts him off. "And Guilty Spark takes it from him. Like taking candy from a baby. An armored baby." He chuckles, his jowls shaking.

Writer rolls his beady eyes. "I know he ta--"

Director waves an hairy hand dismissively. "Then the Monitor teleports itself & the Reclaimer to the Control Room via Halos' teleportation grid."

Writer nods. "That's what I wro--"

"But," the Director continues, "the Control Room is under construction, see."

Writer blinks rapidly. "Why would it be under constru--"

"Because," the Director explains," "they're 100,000 years in the past."

The Writer doesn't believe what he's hearing. "100,0--"

"No," the Director interrupts. "133,700 years. It's elite. No wait, 117,343 years in the past." He nods quickly, satisfied with his decision. "It'll be a treat for the fanbois."

The Writer quickly said, "Why would they travel back in ti--"

"The Monitor," the Director emphasized, "was damaged, see."


"Before they were both teleported."

"That's stu--"

Director spears Writer with a LOOK. "The Flood shoots a plasma beam at Sparky. And then electrical 'sparks' fly off him." He laughs out loud. "That pun will kill Stuntmutt."

The exasperated writer throws his hands up. "I qui--"

The director points a meaty finger at the writer. "You're fired. I don't need you."

(Snafufree on 03-13-07 02:36 UTC, permalink)

(Scenes) Lots of Elites charge a group of Marines at a very grassy plain. The Master Chief runs over the Elites with a Warthog. The sound of a lawnmower can be heard.

(Snafufree on 03-13-07 02:36 UTC, permalink)

Tastes like chicken. Literally.
(Comic Relief) A group of Marines are fighting for their lives.

Pvt. Jenkins: Sarge! We're pinned down by Jackals!

Sgt. Johnson: Mendez! Fire the flamethrower!

Pvt. Mendez: But--

Sgt. Johnson: DO IT!

He does so.

The Jackals are cooked.

Pvt. Mendez: Mmm hmm. Smells like chicken.

Sgt. Johnson grabs a well done Jackal arm and takes a bite.

Sgt. Johnson: Tastes like chicken too. Like Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Pvt. Mendez: Hey Jenkins! Have a taste of 'Johnsons Fried Jackal'!

Pvt. Jenkins: Uugh. I think I'm gonna hurl.

(Snafufree on 03-13-07 02:37 UTC, permalink)

Not again!
(A wink to us fanbois) A yellow-armored grunt inadvertently tosses an active plasma grenade at another red-armored grunts' breather mask which is thrown away before it explodes.

Some time later, the Master Chief tosses an active plasma grenade at the same red-armored grunt who wails, "Not again!"

(Snafufree on 03-13-07 02:37 UTC, permalink)

Spartan Training
(Music) Can't everyone evision the SPARTANs have a trainign montage set to "My Generation" by The Who?

( on 03-13-07 02:38 UTC, permalink)

MArtial Arts
(You're freaking me out) Imagine this a marine and an elite meet. The Marine goes "I must warn you I have mastered all (random number) different forms of martial arts."

"So have I," the Elite counters.

They spend the next thirty minutes doing martial arts things such as flipping in place and such trying to psych the other out.

Master chief walks in and sees this. The elite sees him. They stare...then MC points down. The Elite Looks. He sees a plasma gernade in the chiefs other hand.

"Your kung-fu is no match for my explosive, bitch."

(me on 03-13-07 02:38 UTC, permalink)

Empty Threat?
(Scenes) A tense standoff between earth's resistance forces and the Master chief with Sgt. Johnson. Each holds each other at gunpoint, awaiting the other's next move:

Punk: (accusingly) So where were YOU when them ugly ass aliens started hammerin' us? Why should I beleive you'll help us more than the REST of *spit* UNSC did, and not just take off when the goin' get's rough?

John-117: Because I'm all you've got. If I fail, Earth falls. I have to win this fight.

Punk: So what good is that if I'm dead?

Sgt. Johnson: You don't know this man like I do. I've seen what he can do. He's never lost a mission, and never let a teammate down... ..Besides..

Sgt. Johnson continues: that pistol he's got to your head is linked to a neural reflex network integrated into the man's brain. He can see your finger start to move before your puny brain even realizes you've started to move it. Your brains will splash onto that pretty wall behind you before you could ever get that trigger moved. Isn't that right Master Chief?

John-117: Close enough..

Punk sweats for a minute and then swings his gun down: Alright screw it, man, I got nothing to lose anyways.. how can we help you?

John-117: Well, first off, we need some of your ammo, I'm completely dry.

John-117 ejects the empty pistol clip onto the ground.

Punk: That thing wasn't even loaded!

Sgt. Johnson: You thought he was going to waste a bullet on you?!

Punk: but..

John-117 instantly smashes his fist up to his forearm into a nearby wall.

Punk: oh. uhh.. gotcha.

(deadguy71 on 03-13-07 02:42 UTC, permalink)

A Bloody Face
(Confrontation) a spartan and an elite are in the middle of a massive hand to hand battle both warriors have suffered massive trauma and damage. The elite and the spartan get in to death grips on each others necks,

Elite - Your death is the will of the gods * elite coughs blood on the spartan's visor* and we are their instrument.

Spartan - *snaps visor back and spits blood on the elites face* I am my own Instrument.

Spartan then knees elite and snaps his neck.

(True Dark 1ES on 03-13-07 02:43 UTC, permalink)

Indiana Chief
(Hey, I'm in a movie!) On the Pillar of Autumn when the MC is trying to get to a life boat he runs across a blast door slowly closing in front of him, the life boat on the other side. He then looks back and sees a Red elite pointing at him exclaiming for his grunt and jackal elite team to attack the fleeing Spartan. The MC then turns back around flexes and bolts for the closing door.

Cortana: You're not going to make it, we should find another way around.

MC: Theres not enough time.

Cortana: This is suicide!

At the last moment the MC dives and slides under the closing door reaching back just before it closes to grab his Assault Rifle. The door closes leaving the Alien team behind the blast door, the MC then gets up dusts himself off and casually walks into the last life pod.

Cortana: Your pretty fast, where'd you pick up that trick?

MC: Saw it in a movie once.

(Bzerker01 on 03-13-07 02:45 UTC, permalink)

best opening scene EVER!
(Scenes) For a really cool opening scene we see the screen fade from black to high charity and the camera slowly moves through corridors as opera music plays. The flood fight elites and other covenant aliens flood blood drips from the ceiling and walls a flood combat form with a energy sword stabs an elite, the camera goes between the blades and approaches a door the door makes a bleep sound and opens marines sprint through screaming. Flood combat forms follow firing and roaring.

Then a infection form leaps and explodes on the screen the halo movie title comes up on screen then a marine comes into view running down the corridors of high charity panting he slams into a door thats locked the marine panics "NO no it can't be locked please open OPEN OPEN!" he turns and screams in horrer as the camera zooms up to his face then everything turns black.


(Mr Mohawk on 03-13-07 02:46 UTC, permalink)

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