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I'm too sexy for my cryopod
(Hey, I'm in a movie!) As he steps out of his cryopod, Master Chief strikes a sexy or heroic pose for no reason at all

(Rosco-128 on 05-06-08 12:36 UTC, permalink)

You've always been special...
(Character Development) Complete abandonment of Dr. Halsey's character + cliched tender moment = horrible scene.


Dr halsey slips quietly into the SPARTAN dormatory. She tiptoes to John-117's bunk. He is sleeping soundly after a hard day. She sits down on the edge of the bed and looks down at the sleeping boy.

"Oh john," she whispers, "I'm so sorry I have to put you through all this."

John stirs in is sleep, a serious frown playing across his face.

"But you try so hard. You've been so brave. I'm so proud of you, john. I'm so proud of all of you."

Dr Halsey reaches down and strokes John's head, smoothing his tousled hair. she bends down and softly kisses his forehead. Smiling, she stands up and slips out of the dorm.

(Rosco-128 on 05-06-08 12:35 UTC, permalink)

Press RB to Activate Halo
(You're freaking me out)

The Master Chief needs to activate Halo himself, not Cortana. The game had the cliche part done pretty well, how the Chief dramatically turned around and light erupted from behind him. Now all they need is for the Control Room to explode with a large, plasma-ish explosion, followed by the Chief running away from it in slow-mo while screaming "Nooooooo". Then, when it's a happy ending, Chief and Cortana need to walk into the sunset, where he finds a beautiful Mexican woman and they fall in love. BUT then it turns out the Mexican woman is ACTUALLY dying, and the Chief goes on an epic quest for revenge, which leads him to find out it was actually Cortana who did it all along.

Cortana: Yes, it was I! And now... I shall rule the world! (evil laughter)

Then the Chief goes on a quest for happiness, where he finds the evil Cortana was ACTUALLY Johnson in disguise, and he held the real Cortana in his abandoned evil castle, where the Chief fights ghosts and Jack Thompson to get to her. Then, a cutscene.

CORTANA: "...you found me...! But so much of me is wrong - out of place - you might be too late."

MASTER CHIEF: "You know me. When I make a promise..."

(roeas29 on 02-20-08 21:06 UTC, permalink)

Halo Life?
(Other games) MC could use a crowbar to kill an elite. lol!

(BobTheGreat on 02-20-08 21:05 UTC, permalink)

Taglines and Poster Designs
(Cheap Merchandising)

Cliche Tagline #1: Master Chief thought he was running away from the war, but what he was really running from...was himself.

#2: From the director who brought you "Alive in Joburg", and the producer who brought you "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy...comes...something completely different.

#3: In space, no one can hear you utter a sudden loud, sharp piercing cry.

#4: Our movie goes great with Game Fuel. Buy some.

#5: From the twisted minds at Bungie, comes a space opera more terrifying than "Muppets from Space", more action-packed than the "Iraq Study Group Report", and more laugh-out-loud hilarious than "Gigli". Guaranteed.

An image of the outline of the Chief, back towards the viewer and in dark silhouette. In front him are arrayed various key plot devices, some of which were cut from the first draft of the script but were included in the poster anyway to fill up blank space. Bonus points if Cortana's eyes appear ghost-like in the background (creepy) or a muppet-grunt is billed as a co-star (cute).

Reviews on Poster:

"I lol'd."
--Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times

"Of all the movies I've seen this year, this heart-warming tale of a trans-gendered lesbian and her cross country trip to find acceptance from her adoptive family of conservative-minded chimpanzees really exemplifies what the best movie of the year should be like..."
--Ty Burr, Boston Globe

"Two flood walk into a bar. One looks over at the other, and starts to say...and so he turns and says, 'that's not my wife, that's a floodlight!'"

(detranova on 02-16-08 01:05 UTC, permalink)

on The Lamb: Part 2
(Scenes from Hell) (see my other entry to understand this)

After the Chief jumped from his hog he flew through the air into a group of Covenant. He rips through the Hunter in front and knocks down the grunts like bowling pins.

Chief- Dayum, dat Cortana ho almost got me!

Gravetana- yo, bitch, where\\\'s my child support!?

Chief- oh snap!

The chief jacks an elephant and proceeds to escape at 3Mph. He goes into a turn and flipps the monstrosity into a flood containment facility. As flood rain down The Chief tries to fight, but their numbers weigh him down. All of a sudden a bright beam of light cuts through the assailents and the chief is freed.

Chief- i thought you were dead.

Sgt. Jhonson- you cant kill me that eaisily, Chief!

They both share a laugh.

Chief- Yeah,I know, That\\\'s why I saved this.

The Chief shoves his child transfer papers into Jhonsons hands. Gravetana sees this and pursues Jhonson.

Chief- well, all that ends well is well!

He then gets shot in the head and the camera turns onto a shadowy figure. It steps out into the light and we see...


Real Cheif- All that begins wrong must be turned right.

M. Night Nhyamalan- Another twist-tastic film!

Bill Gates- we\\\'ll milk even more from the box offices by releasing it in Japanese!

M. Night Nhyamalan- Ooh, a twist worthy of me.

(Day of release)

Tv news reporter- The bodies were found with severe trama to the head and deep lacerations to the face. Reports indicate that all the injures were self-inflicted and the only recognizable identification on the bodies were ID cards labeling them to be former Microsoft imployees.

(Gruntzilla on 02-08-08 04:19 UTC, permalink)

Epic Fall
(Scenes) (Scenes) (An overview is shown of a burning and destroyed New Mombasa at night. The camera then moves to the side of the tallest skyscraper and all is quiet.) Then the glass shatters as Master Chief comes flying through the glass and throws himself around to face the building while brandishing his dual SMGs. An onslaught of grunts with fuel rod cannons,jackals, and thousands of flood infection forms burst through the broken window as well as all of the surrounding windows. He starts firing with his SMGs as explosions and plasma fire surround him. He notices that the ground and his pursuers are getting closer, but he keeps spraying. When the flood and covenant get close enough, Master Chief pulls himself up onto their dead bodies and fights his way up through the deadly mob of enemies. The camera then cuts to the ground where there are some brutes. Empty shell casings start falling onto their heads and they look up to see where they are coming from, just in time to see a pile of carcasses falling from above. The impact kills all but one of the brutes right away and Master Chief, being on top of the pile, is cushioned enough that he survives and gets up. He sees a brute trapped underneath with his head and one arm sticking out, trying to reach Master Chief. The Chief walks a comfortable distance away, pulls out a grenade, and throws it onto the pile, and starts walking away with the pile behind him. The camera shows the explosion of hundreds of grenades in the background with the Chief in the foreground walking ever so calmly in the night, off to his next fight.

(Razorbackmissle on 02-08-08 04:16 UTC, permalink)

Gung Ho pilot
(Scenes) The Master Chief fights through tons of Covenant on his way to a retrieval sight. As he climbs a small rise he is hit in the back multiple times by plasma fire. As MC crawls on we see a grunt come up behind MC and level a charging plasma pistol. Just before the bolt is discharged the grunt is slammed by the nose of a Pelican. The Pelican swings around and the crew chief and copilot drag MC into the troop bay.

({DSF} Sarge on 12-14-07 23:34 UTC, permalink)

(A wink to us fanbois) The Chief is fighting covenant invaders in New Mombasa, accompanied by several marines. They have the element of surprise with them, as the covenant troops are not aware of the UNSC personnel on the nearby rooftop. Then, Chief proceeds as usual to kill those poor bastards below them. The marines gaze in awe as Chief cuts down the whole patrol of seven in under thirty seconds, prompting one of the marines say \"Killimanjaro!\".

(random mad halo fan on 12-14-07 23:32 UTC, permalink)

Flood cure?
(Corny twists) Random Scientist: But chief, your blood....it is the cure!

MC: The Cure for what?

Random Scientist: The Flood.

(Rayzer730 on 12-14-07 23:31 UTC, permalink)

Clizzif Hizzanger
(A wink to us fanbois) If you wait till the end of the credits, instead of seeing 343 guilty spark flying to threshold, you see a Covenant squad sifting through the debris on a pelican that survived the explosion, and an Elite finding the "Fight for her" picture of the planet earth.

(Killer_tomatoes!!! on 10-29-07 22:34 UTC, permalink)

Grunty food
(A wink to us fanbois) In the 'The Maw' scene of the movie, as MC is driving to the longsword fighter, for a split second there is a grunt in a small panel on the side of the track, saying "...Grunty Thirst!"

(Killer_tomatoes!!! on 10-29-07 22:04 UTC, permalink)

bullet time
(Hey, I'm in a movie!) You know how in the books MC can dodge some bullets? Imagine him battling the covies in slow-mo with a pistol in each hand like in the Matrix, then he pulls out an energy sword and Jackal shield and goes at it Spartan (300) style.

Didn't the Spartans have something dubbed 'Spartan time'?

(agentsmith on 10-25-07 00:14 UTC, permalink)


MC "Who are you supposed to be?"

GS "Oh, DUDE who am I supposed to be? LOOK at you, you're like sooo, I dunno, you've got this real GI JOE thing going on-"

MC "Shut up"

GS "Oh, DUDE are you serious? Like I should so TOTALLY SHUT UP? When you go like O to 3 words in like 9 HOURS?"

CORTANA "He's kinda cute"

MC "No"

CORTANA "Oh c'mon, he can help"

MC "....OK, you can lead me to the Index, but DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING"

GS "Oh DUDE like I shouldn't touch anything? When everythig you touch like EXPLODES..."

(JD on 10-25-07 00:12 UTC, permalink)

Sean Connery
(Actor) Captain Keyes (played by Sean Connery): "Welcome to HALO" Theme music from the Rock starts playing.

(rbr437 on 10-25-07 00:10 UTC, permalink)

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