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(Scenes) As I re-read Ghosts of Onyx I noticed all the military hyperbole, and thought it would be funny if they translated some of that stuff into a movie.

Movie starts...

A military general covered with war medals and commendations enters a thick locked door. Two men accompany him, his right and left-hand men so to speak.

They approach a large titanium wall, and the A.I. (which naturally is a dead look alike of HAL 9000) asks for "voice identification". Next he has to put his whole head in this face scanner. Once the A.I. checks that out, a ginormous door slides open, and for almost a minute you hear locks, slides, and various mechanisms opening. Next the men get into an elevator that descends for about 10 minutes into the ground.

Once they reach the "secure" location, the men are X-rayed, gamma rayed, DNA sampled, and THEN stripped of weapons. FINALLY, they get to a massive computer room which looks like NASA mission control. The men each take out a "big" key and lift up plastic covers on the desk, then they count 1...2...3 and turn the keys into the slots simultaneously. Then the general sits down and enters in super-secret codenames for minutes like CHIMERA BRAVO, ELOQUENT CAVIAR, UNDYING HORNET; that all sound like bad puns. Meanwhile everyone else in the room is staring intently and sweating A LOT for unknown reasons.

FINALLY (for real this time), the computer allows them into a secret network and lets them find the file they're looking for... until the screen flashes a warning that they're going to need "LEVEL 12- OMEGA BLACK-OPS SECTION THETA VIOLET CONDITION CLEARANCE", and no can figure out who actually has this sort of clearance...

(jman571 on 10-24-07 23:57 UTC, permalink)



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