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I'm gonna eat my socks...
(Scenes from Hell) Master Chief is on a pelican with a whole lot of civilian evacuees. One of the guys there is a champion surfer with an ultra-high-tech surfboard that has 'wings' attached to its underside fin.

The Pelican's PA crackles. "Elite Drop Pods coming from the cruiser. Our ground teams are gonna have hell!"

Master Chief turns to the surf champion. "I need that surfboard."

The surf champ says, "Sure, dude, but what for?"

MC says, "Surfing the airwaves."

Johnson, sitting nearby, pulls out his cigar, and quitely observes. "That's suicide." He adds, "I'll eat my socks if you come back alive."

MC picks up his Rocket Launcher and Dual SMGs, and tells Johnson, "You're on." He opens a side door and leaps out of the pelican with the surfboard, plummeting towards the ground.

His radio crackles. "AA fire, from the cruiser!"

MC gets up, flattening out the board. He dodges curtains of blue plasma fire raining down from above like a pro surfer going about the waves.

He sees the drop pods coming down, and noses down the surf board to put on that extra burst of speed. He whips out his dual SMGs and begins firing at the drop pods as he swings around them. A short burst to each pod causes them to explode. He surfs around the pods, shooting at them with his SMGs until they're all destroyed.

The pelican pilot comes on air again. "Phantoms!", she says.

Four Phantom dropships are descending rapidly in front of him, one following the other in a sort of 'staircase' formation. The chief whips out his rocket launcher, and blasts the last phantom, which falls out of the sky in flames. He swerves from left to right, dealing the other phantoms a rocket apiece, and watching as they all fall to Earth.

The radio comes on again. "That longsword below's been captured! God save our marines!"

Master Chief hugs the surfboard and dives deep, aiming for the longsword and its two escort banshees far below. He pulls out of the dive, stands up, and sprays the two escort banshees with remaining rounds from his SMGs. Both explode in flames.

The Chief's surfboard zooms up to the side of the longsword, next to the left door. The Chief opens it and noses the surfboard in. He's in the act of picking up the surfboard when he comes face-to-face with a very surprised rookie Elite. The Chief pithily says, "Get off my plane!" , and whacks the Elite with the surfboard. The Elite staggers out of the open door, and a scream is heard as he is blown off.

The Chief shuts the door, and goes to the cockpit. An Ultra Elite is sitting in the copilot's seat. Master Chief puts aside the surfboard and straps himself into the other seat, and flips open the ejection seat buttons. The Ultra sees him, gapes, and unstraps himself.

The Chief says, "Don't do that."

The Elite whips out his plasma saber and snarls.

The Chief says, "You're fired.", and presses the ejector seat button. The ejector seat shoots up, smashing into the Elite, and carrying him up and airborne. The Elite screams as he goes high up; there is a flash as his sword evaporates.

MC goes on the radio. "This is the Chief. I'm heading home."

The surfer says, "Radical, dude! You're awesome!"

Sarge is heard saying, "Uh...Chief? I didn't wear my socks...I swear!"

(UrsusArctos on 11-08-06 13:39 UTC, permalink)



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