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Helm's Alamo of Thermopylae
(Scenes from Hell) I've learned from a review of the script that Captain Keyes will stay besieged in the Pillar of Autummn. I'm just worried it'll become another war movie about an epic siege.
Cortana:"Chief, the marine's are saying we will not make it through the night."
Master Chief: Don't dispair Cortana, we have to make sure the thousands of civilians... the men, women and children still on the POA... oh god, do I have to say this line? This isn't halo at all!
Director: Say it.
Master Chief(begudgingly): ... we must do it for them, we might look back on this day and say, 'this was the one good thing we got out of this whole crazy mess; saving sergeant Johnson'.
Private Miles*: Why shouldn't they say so Cortana? It's 300 million covenant to our 50 marines. Each of us will have to kill...(counts on each finger, mumbles to self)... a lot!
Master Chief: In these walls we can outlast them.
Captain Keyes: What would you have me do? Look at my ship, her hull hangs by a thread. If these passengers are to make an end, I will have them make such an end that it's worthy of buying on DVD!
Master Chief: If we can hold them off for one night, a million *insert cavalry here* will break through the enemy lines and save us.
[Later that night the defenders sit on top of the POA with various long range weapons and through several witty jokes, a few unpleasant anecdotes and a lot of gutteral and forced lines meant to portray bonding, the defenders get to know each other for the last few moments of their lives.]
Private Miles: It was wrong of me to Despair, Master Chief. It would be an honor to die by your side.
Master Chief: We'll take out as many of these covie sons of bitches as we can, we've got to buy the precious civilians some time to prepare for death.
Cortana: Wouldn't it be wiser to tell the Civilians to run far away from this battle? The chances of winning are mathmatically impossible.
Master Chief: You know not the honor of the warrior. I hunger for battle.
Cortana: So that's worth all the lives-
[The director makes a hand gesture as if to cut her off]
[The battle ensues. The audience watches them pick off a few elites and grunts with sniper rifles, and to shake things up for the audience's-sake the defenses are breached and the defending army quickly retreats to a Court Yard. Or a Keep. Whatever. A lot of faceless nobody soldiers are decimated and the audience cheers because the characters portrayed in the movie are alright. All but one. One secondary character is sacraficed for drama's sake in the retreat, probably Miles or something. The leader is distraught about the all the destruction he is probably responsible for.]
Master Chief: How many of us are left?
Captain Keyes: Only about twenty. We need to stand ready, if they brake through that door/barracade/bulkhead.
[After a little more talk of strategy that the audience doesn't understand, they decide to charge into the thick of enemy soldiers without any clear intention of winning even though victory isn't that far off. Either they will all be slaughtered for their reckless actions and the civilians will suffer for their brash actions or the cavalry will promptly arive when things look their bleakest and as soon as one of the main characters is in peril. Apparently, consalidating and mustering all of their forces couldn't be done from the begining. Soon an offensive move is executed made up of the few survivors. They win. The End.]
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(ShortRoundMcfly on 06-11-06 19:41 UTC, permalink)
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